OneWorld Lounges in London Heathrow LHR

“I am travelling on Qantas from London Heathrow terminal 3. Which is the best lounge?”

This question appears almost every other day on Facebook, so here’s what I believe is the definitive answer, in order, for a OneWorld frequent flyer, based on exhaustive testing.

I’m assuming that you’re flying QF2, which goes all the way to Sydney via Singapore. (Or on QF2 to Brisbane or Melbourne, changing in Singapore).

The first tip is that if you’re QF Platinum, you can use the Fast Track lane in security. Do that.

Cathay Pacific - the foodie choice

This can be a busy lounge, because there is a Hong Kong flight that departs at 18h20. So, the technique here is to visit the CX lounge at about 17h50, when it’ll be beautifully empty, before the next Hong Kong flight at about 20h00.

If you do that, you’ll find a First Class lounge, if you’re Qantas Platinum, and a business lounge if not. In the First Class lounge there’s a small restaurant, and yes, the signature Dan Dan Mien noodles are available (pictured above). You may find the First Class lounge is too hot - the sun shines directly in at this time, and makes it quite uncomfortable to sit in some of the window seats. But it’s comfortable, relaxed, quiet and everything you want in a lounge, with a choice of decent snacks and drinks and things.

The Cathay Pacific lounge will quickly fill, though; so, bear that in mind. In my experience, it’s all about the timing.

British Airways - the quiet choice

There are British Airways lounges for OneWorld Emerald and OneWorld Sapphire, which share an entrance. Turn left if you’re for Emerald (QF Platinum) which is very, very quiet at this time - there are very few BA flights.

The lounge does food, after a fashion, and it has table service using the QR codes, though isn’t the most comfortable place. It’s long and thin, with plenty of little nooks and crannies. There is a kids room where they can play and be noisy without upsetting anyone else, and this is absolutely not a nice quiet room where you can record a podcast without anyone noticing and no background music, no sir.

The space also has a bad coffee machine, and if you’re a fan of biscuits packed in twos in plastic wrappers, or what the British call “crisps” in packets that are a bit too small, then you’ll love it.

If you prize the peace and quiet, it’s a perfect choice for you. And if it isn’t, you can move on, too…

Emirates - buffet-tastic

You are eligible to go into the Emirates lounge, if you’re a Qantas status flyer (but not otherwise). It has a large buffet, probably a good choice if you have hungry children.

It’s a large space, though can also get crowded (but nowhere near as crowded as the Qantas lounge gets). It’s a solid choice, though, assuming you don’t mind the bling, and/or the loud and ostentatious guests, especially the ones who are taking pictures for Instagram. Emirates has a lot of those for some reason.

Qantas - for gin, food and bustle

The Qantas lounge in London has a gin bar upstairs, with lots of gin available. And that’s nice. However, it’s by far the busiest at this time, since it’ll be full of fellow Qantas flyers who either don’t have status and are just flying business, or who do have status but don’t realise they have a choice.

There is no First Class section of this lounge (though Qantas promises one in the future).

The food is OK downstairs, if you can get a table (you may end up perched at the bar). Service is perfunctory and a bit robotic. The food choice is nice enough, though. The downstairs bar has gin too. And there are free toffees.

Upstairs, there are plenty of seats, all of which are frustratingly far from any power socket, so no recharging your device prior to flying.

Do your fellow travellers a favour, and move on from your table once you’ve had your meal, so someone else can.

It’s manic, busy, and sadly the worst major international lounge that Qantas has. It’s absolutely no Singapore. You can do better by going to any of the above. But not to the one below.

American Airlines

You’re eligible to go into the AA lounge, though do not do this.

It’s small, hot, has bad food, an even worse coffee machine. It’s crowded, old-fashioned, tatty, and pretty awful. And to make matters worse, it’s full of Americans all wearing headsets on video calls with head office talking about sales targets. Trust me, you don’t want to go in here. Nobody does. Not even the Americans. It’s the absolute worst.

If you want to prank someone, tell them it’s the best lounge, and tell them not to go anywhere near the Cathay Pacific one. Otherwise, steer clear from it. Not that you’d find it anyway, given it’s down a long corridor that will remind you of being lost in a hospital.

So, now you know.

Bonus feature: “I am travelling from London Heathrow terminal 5. I’m OneWorld. What is the best lounge?”

Terminal 5? It’s a BA terminal. Your choice is the North Lounge or the South Lounge, which are both BA. That’s it.

(The Concorde Room in terminal 5 isn’t for the likes of you.)

The tip in Terminal 5, if you’re QF Platinum, is to use the First Class checkin (on the far right hand side), which has its own security line and takes you straight into the Gold South lounge.

The South lounge is split into two - a first class (“Gold”) lounge, for Qantas Platinums or OneWorld Emeralds, and a lounge for business flyers (for Qantas Golds) which is one floor higher. The Gold lounge has an “outside” bit, which isn’t outside, but feels as if it is, with a large balcony overlooking the rest of the airport. It’s nice and airy.

The North Lounge - well, when I visited it was just for business flyers and wasn’t as nice.

(Actually, there is another BA lounge in one of the satellite terminals. Only do that if you’re flying from that terminal. Check first.)

Bonus bonus feature: “I’m flying from London Heathrow terminal 1. Where is the best lounge?”

No you’re not.