Richard Titus, a highly impressive colleague of mine, is today quoted in Private Eye’s Birtspeak column. His appearance has been blogged about by Nick Reynolds, the editor of the blog from where his out-of-context quote appeared.

In a previous job, I had to write a “technical competencies” document for staff appraisals. You know, the kind of thing that is normally full of… “shows an aptitude for on-the-job learning of latest technologies with a view to their application where required on websites and other digital media” kind of stuff. (Actually, rather a good thing to do, all things considered).

I have a healthy distaste for form-filling and internal documents, as my colleagues are rapidly discovering, and I felt it needed subverting. So, I managed to write a “technical competency” that I was hugely proud of:

“Demonstrates a thorough understanding of liquid production techniques and sharing where applicable with the team, with any additions as required by each team member”.

The wonks in HR read it and incredibly signed it off. So, the requirement to “make a good cup of tea” is enshrined in my team’s job roles for ever more. (I hope Andy’s realised).

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